Unwanted Advice

Pregnancy and Postpartum Therapy in Philadelphia , Ocean City, Santa Fe, Mechanicsville: Ways to Handle Unwanted Advice

During pregnancy, you might have noticed that random strangers started smiling more at you. The majority of people treat pregnant women a little bit better than average person. They know your secret, you are carrying a child!

During pregnancy, you might have noticed that random strangers started sharing with you their pregnancy/birthing stories. This is an opportunity for people to not only remember their own past, but to connect with someone else who might understand what they have been through.

During pregnancy you might have noticed that random strangers started telling you what to do. Everyone has an opinion about the best way to ‘raise a child.’ In fact, people feel entitled ‘for the sake of the child’ to intruded upon your privacy to tell you what to do.

Depending upon you mood, and the way that people share their tidbits of information with you, you may experience different reactions to people’s opinions. You may feel thankful, grateful, judged, frustrated, or anger.

There are many ways to handle these moments. Like parenthood there are no right and wrong ways, only different options with different repercussions.

• You can ignore the comment(s), thus not engaging. Sometimes responding to a comment in poor taste is more effort than to ignore it, particularly when the comment is well intentioned.
• You can say thank you and neither agree or disagree with the person’s opinion. Most of the time people simply share their thoughts because they want to “help” you “help” the child.
• You can respond by asking more questions about their parenting advice. Specifically, trying to learn more about how they developed their theory. Often by understanding a persons perspective you will understand what the person really meant to be sharing as opposed to what they literally said.
• You can say, when I was childless like you, that is exactly what I used to think, but now that I have a child I have a whole new perspective on pregnancy and parenting. What sounds good on paper simply isn’t reality.
• You can ask them to explain their comment further. Sometimes you can learn some valuable skills from people even if they are sloppy in how they are sharing the information with you
• You can tell someone that you are feeling judged by them, and that if they want you to listen, they need to rephrase their thoughts.
• You can switch topics.

Remember, regardless of whom is giving you the advice, you are the expert. You know your child better than anyone else. Trust yourself. Use your gut to make decisions. Only you know yourself and your needs. When you feel stuck, ask for help. When help is given and it is unsolicited take what is useful and leave the rest behind. Unwanted advice is simply unwanted advice.

Need support? To speak with a live therapist call at 215-922-5683 Ext. 100 or if you prefer quietly setting yourself up for an appointment, you can self schedule an inperson or virtual therapy appointment. For your convenience we have 5 physical offices and provide virtual therapy services in Florida, Georgia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New Mexico and Virginia.

• Ocean City Therapy Office
  360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226

• Mechanicsville Therapy Office
  9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116

• Society Hill Therapy Office
  233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106

• Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office
  2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130

• Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505

• Telemedicine: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, Virginia New Mexico and Pennsylvania

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Therapy Services Offered:

• Individual Counseling and therapy

• Couples Counseling and marriage counseling

• Teen Therapy and Adolescent Therapy and tweens and child counseling

• Family Therapy and multi-generational counseling

• Art Therapy and Counseling no art skills needed

• ADHD Therapyand ADD, Dyslexia, Autism, Tourettes counseling

• Anxiety, Panic, OCD Therapy and worry and fear support

• Breaking the cycle of Codependency and being your own person

• Overcoming Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain

• Depression Therapy and sadness, gloom, and upset support

• Grief Therapy and loss, End of A Relationship, rejections, pregnancy loss and therapy

• Mindfulness Based Therapy and spirituality based therapy

• Sex Therapy and sexual function & dysfunction, sex addiction, sexual orientation and gender identity support

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• Trauma Therapy both emotional and sexual abuse, complex trauma, PTSD counseling

• Divorce support

• Affairs, Infidelity, Unfaithful, Cheating counseling

• Parenting therapy

• Personality disorder treatments

• Anger Management Therapy

• Setting Boundaries and identifying ones own Core Beliefs

• Just name some of the Mental Health issues that we work with. Our goal is to help you Change and Achieve Your Dreams