Exploring Non-Binary Identity in Therapy: What to Expect

Starting to explore your non-binary identity in therapy can be nerve-racking. You may be asking yourself questions like, “What should I expect? What should I be looking for in my therapist? Will this help me?” Starting this journey of self-discovery is a profound and courageous step and can help you understand and embrace your authentic self. Therapy can be a vital tool in offering a safe and supportive space to navigate the complexities of gender and gender identity. In this tip we’ll explore some steps to begin to explore non-binary identity in therapy, some helpful tips about what to expect from your therapist, and some helpful ways that your therapist can support you through this journey.

Creating a Safe Therapeutic Space: Choosing a Therapist

The first step in exploring non-binary identity in therapy is establishing a safe and affirming space with your therapist. Therapists play a pivotal role in fostering an environment where you can feel heard, respected, and validated. When working with a therapist, even from the first session, you can assess for “rapport”. This is the connection and relationship between a therapist and their client. It’s such an important part of therapy because while qualifications are important, a strong rapport creates a safe and trusting environment where the client feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions. Once you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, open communication is key. Because exploring gender can be vulnerable, it's important to be able to express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without feeling judged.

All therapists practice with different modalities, sometimes referred to as theories or therapeutic approaches. When selecting a therapist with which to explore your non-binary identity, here are a few modalities that may be facilitative. Some therapists will highlight that they use these techniques in their online bios.

• Person-Centered Therapy: This approach, developed by Carl Rogers, focuses on creating a non-judgmental and empathetic therapeutic relationship. It allows individuals to explore their thoughts and feelings at their own pace, providing a safe space for self-discovery.
• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns related to their gender identity. It provides practical tools to reshape unhelpful beliefs, manage anxiety, and develop coping strategies for dealing with societal expectations.
• Narrative Therapy: Narrative therapy allows clients to reconstruct and reframe their personal stories. It helps individuals explore and redefine their non-binary identity narrative, empowering them to shape a positive and authentic sense of self.
• Mindfulness-Based Approaches: Mindfulness practices can assist in cultivating self-awareness and acceptance. Techniques such as mindfulness meditation and body scan exercises can help individuals connect with their authentic selves and navigate the emotional challenges associated with exploring their identity.
• Affirmative Therapy: Affirmative therapy specifically focuses on providing support for LGBTQ+ individuals. Therapists use this approach to affirm and validate non-binary identities, addressing the unique challenges faced by clients in the context of their gender identity.
• Intersectional Therapy: Recognizing the intersectionality of identity, this approach considers how various aspects of an individual's identity (e.g., race, ethnicity, sexuality) intersect with their non-binary experience. It helps therapists tailor their approach to address the unique challenges posed by these intersecting factors.
• Family Systems Therapy: For clients navigating family dynamics, family systems therapy can be valuable. This modality explores how family relationships and communication patterns may impact the individual's exploration of their non-binary identity, fostering understanding and support.
• Group Therapy and Support Groups: Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be powerful. Group therapy or support groups provide a sense of community, validation, and shared wisdom. It allows individuals to explore their identity in a collective, supportive space. In addition to individual therapy sessions, building a supportive network and engaging with the broader non-binary community can be empowering. Group therapy or support groups offer a sense of belonging and validation, fostering connections with individuals who share similar experiences.
• Psychoeducation: Providing information about non-binary identities and experiences is a crucial aspect of therapy. Psychoeducation helps individuals understand themselves better, equipping them with knowledge to navigate societal challenges and build resilience.
• Art or Expressive Therapies: Creative modalities, such as art or expressive therapies, can provide alternative means of self-expression. Artistic expression can be particularly helpful for individuals exploring their gender identity in a non-verbal and symbolic way.

There is no “one size fits all” for therapeutic modalities, but it’s beneficial to know which might be helpful in exploring gender in a way that feels safe and supportive. Take a moment to reflect on your particular style of learning; do you do well with creative expression? Art therapy or expressive modalities might be particularly helpful for you. Do you learn best with others? Group therapy might be important to try!

Some questions you could ask your therapist to find out what kind of modalities they use are:

• Could you tell me about your approach to exploring and understanding different identities?

• How do you incorporate diverse perspectives and experiences into your work with clients?

• Do you practice with any gender-affirming modalities?

• How do you create a safe and inclusive space for individuals who are exploring their identity?

• Do you have any specific techniques or tools you use to help clients navigate gender exploration?

In looking at the different modalities that your therapist uses, as well as their answers to these questions, remember that you have agency in who you work with! Therapeutic rapport is extremely important to allow people to feel comfortable in exploring their nonbinary identity. One great benefit of seeing a therapist at a group practice, like The Center for Growth, is that we allow clients to try out different therapists to find the best fit.

Challenges in Exploring Non-Binary Identity in Therapy:

While therapy offers a supportive environment, the journey of exploring non-binary identity is not without its challenges. Society's limited understanding of non-binary identities can lead to feelings of isolation, discrimination, and misunderstanding. Therapists can help clients navigate these challenges by providing coping strategies, resilience-building techniques, and advocating for self-acceptance.

Many individuals exploring non-binary identity may grapple with internalized societal norms and expectations. Therapy becomes a space to unpack these ingrained beliefs, allowing clients to challenge and redefine their understanding of gender. In therapy there can be an opportunity to identify internalized norms that you carry, understand where they come from, and begin to challenge damaging beliefs. Therapy can become a place where self-compassion is developed and practiced. Therapists can work with clients to reframe perspectives to develop more empowering and inclusive narratives. Through introspection and self-reflection, clients can begin to embrace their authentic selves, free from the constraints of societal expectations.

As individuals progress in their exploration of non-binary identity, therapy becomes a platform for celebrating self-discovery. Recognizing and affirming milestones, both big and small, contribute to a positive and empowering therapeutic experience. Therapists play a vital role in acknowledging and validating the progress their clients make, fostering a sense of pride and self-acceptance.

The Role of Allies and Advocacy:

Therapy extends beyond the individual and can also involve educating and involving allies in the process. Therapists can guide clients in communicating their needs to friends, family, and communities, fostering understanding and support. Additionally, therapists can encourage and empower individuals to become advocates for non-binary inclusivity, both within their personal circles and in broader societal contexts.

Another important role that a therapist might play is writing a letter of support to allow the client to access the services that they need. Some of the things that are included in a letter of support are a client’s general characteristics, results of the client’s psychosocial assessment (like diagnoses), the duration of mental health professional’s relationship with the client, a statement that informed consent has been obtained, a statement that the mental health professional is available for coordination of care, and anything else that might be specific to what the client needs services for. Writing a letter of support can be a way for the therapist to use their professional expertise to help advocate for their clients outside of the therapy room.

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Exploring non-binary identity in therapy is a transformative and empowering journey that extends beyond the individual. Through a combination of a safe therapeutic space, challenges addressed with resilience, and the support of community networks, individuals can navigate the complexities of their identity with confidence. The therapeutic process becomes a celebration of self-discovery, ultimately leading to a more authentic and fulfilled life. Therapy remains a vital tool for those on the path to embracing their non-binary identity with courage and resilience. The collective efforts of therapists, clients, and allies contribute to a more inclusive and understanding world, where everyone has the space to explore and celebrate the richness of their unique identities.

Here at The Center for Growth, we strive to provide safe spaces to explore non-binary identity. Whether you’re seeking individual or group therapy we aim to provide the best experience possible to help you achieve your goals.

Check out our Non-Binary support group offered every other Wednesday. This group is a gender non-binary support group for people who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid or gender non-conforming. It can be a great place to start exploring your non-binary identity in therapy.